Woke up at 4.30am, took my shower and then woke up Sam at 5am. Sam had her breakfast but I couldn't eat. Figured I'll eat when I reach Antioch at 8am. 5am is too early to eat.
The journey went smoothly as I fetched Anna and Sveta promptly at 6.25am. Then went on to Quito Road to fetch Jennifer McQueen and then, we all head off to Antioch. It was 1.5 hour's journey and it was a pretty smooth ride with not much traffic on the road. We reached Antioch's Delta Bowl at 8.05am. After dropping off the bowling balls, Jennifer, Sveta and me went to Starbucks across the road and get some breakfast and coffee/frappucino.
The tournament started off promptly at 9am and it was the singles first. Again, Sam struggled with herself and I can see her losing it and it was frustrating as a mom to watch her own daughter lose confidence slowly but surely as she continues to miss her sparing when her 1st ball doesn't strike. She fought with the lanes, she fought with herself and it was a disastrous 1st game of 158 followed by a more disastrous 147 and 171. I couldn't bear to watch this. Didn't wake up at 4.30am to see my daughter "kill" herself on the lanes so, I walked away and left her to her own misery.
Then, upon completion of their singles, Sam n Jennifer went on to play the doubles event and though Sam did slightly better with scorelines of 190, 168, 168, I don't think both of them will make the cut as both of them bowled below their book average of 183 and 187 respectively. But with Jennifer, at least I can see she is still having fun but with Sam, it was self destruction in action again at its peak (esp in the singles event). She just tried too hard and her game and focus fell apart. But it was good news for Jacob and Anna as both of them bowled above their book average and I hope they'll win something out of this tournament. At least then, the long drive would've made it all the more worthwhile.
Definitely have to have a long talk with Sam when I go home. Tournament finished much earlier than I thought. Reached home about 1.15pm in time to have lunch with Ed who cooked his famous chicken rice (yummy) and sweet n sour soup (delicious!).
Now I am beginning to feel depressed because it hurts as a mom to watch one's own daughter journey through destruction and break apart into pieces and cannot do a darn thing about it. Sam, why do you do this to yourself? I don't understand what triggered it coz b4 the Pepsi tournament, I was just commenting to her that I am proud to see that she has improved mentally in her game and as a result, her game has improved from a 160 to a 180 average. And just when I thought I could breathe a little easier whenever she goes for a tournament, she's doing all these garbage to self-destruction again. Sigh, perhaps it's time to throw in the towel. It's not worth going through all these stress as no one wins in the end. Perhaps it's time to cancel all her future bowling tournaments, training and practices until she behaves herself and knock herself out of this indifferent attitude and mental torture. Either way, it's a sorry state of affairs for Sam's bowling for the time being. Sad.... Seemed like history repeating itself and the process to recovery is so hard and long.... I am not sure if I have the mental toughness to hang in there for her anymore or the physical energy to continue being a bowling mom????????????? Sam, it's all up to you now.... I give up for now!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
4 April 2009
Today is Sveta's birthday. She turned 40 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SVETA and welcome to the 40's club.
Today will be the 1st day of the NorCal tournament at Dublin Bowl at 1pm. Since Marty has a tournament in Modesto, they will send Anna to our house so that we can fetch Anna to Dublin for the team event. We left at 11am for Dublin and reached about 12.05pm. Jennifer McQueen and Jacob Wood was already there. The tournament started on time and the team didn't have a good start except for Jacob but managed to recover somewhat along the way although I think not good enough to secure a win. However, Sam was most disappointing as she fought within herself and became her own worst enemy and beat herself up for a poor start of 158, followed by 176 n 162. I foresee that if she continues in this path, it will be that of self destruction and I have advised her numerous times but would she listen? No..... and it is most frustrating for me too to see her killing herself slowly on the lanes...
Now that the team event's over, hope tomorrow will be a better day as she plays the singles and doubles tournament at Antioch.
On the way home, went to Eastridge to buy Sveta's birthday present and came home about 5pm. Then, Ed coaxed me to go jogging with him and I went for a 2 mile jog and felt my legs go weak on me as I haven't jogged for the longest time. But I persevered and endured the 2 mile run and was surprised that I managed to do it tho I felt like giving up when it was going uphill or when I couldn't feel my legs anymore, hahaha. Just wanted to test my stamina and endurance and tho tiring, it feels good to exercise.
Tomorrow will be a long day as I have to leave the house at 6am to go fetch Anna/Sveta/Jennifer to Antioch for the NorCal tournament. That means, I have to get up at 5am.
So, at 10.20am, my bed beckons and off I went obediently.... yawn.... goodnight...
Today will be the 1st day of the NorCal tournament at Dublin Bowl at 1pm. Since Marty has a tournament in Modesto, they will send Anna to our house so that we can fetch Anna to Dublin for the team event. We left at 11am for Dublin and reached about 12.05pm. Jennifer McQueen and Jacob Wood was already there. The tournament started on time and the team didn't have a good start except for Jacob but managed to recover somewhat along the way although I think not good enough to secure a win. However, Sam was most disappointing as she fought within herself and became her own worst enemy and beat herself up for a poor start of 158, followed by 176 n 162. I foresee that if she continues in this path, it will be that of self destruction and I have advised her numerous times but would she listen? No..... and it is most frustrating for me too to see her killing herself slowly on the lanes...
Now that the team event's over, hope tomorrow will be a better day as she plays the singles and doubles tournament at Antioch.
On the way home, went to Eastridge to buy Sveta's birthday present and came home about 5pm. Then, Ed coaxed me to go jogging with him and I went for a 2 mile jog and felt my legs go weak on me as I haven't jogged for the longest time. But I persevered and endured the 2 mile run and was surprised that I managed to do it tho I felt like giving up when it was going uphill or when I couldn't feel my legs anymore, hahaha. Just wanted to test my stamina and endurance and tho tiring, it feels good to exercise.
Tomorrow will be a long day as I have to leave the house at 6am to go fetch Anna/Sveta/Jennifer to Antioch for the NorCal tournament. That means, I have to get up at 5am.
So, at 10.20am, my bed beckons and off I went obediently.... yawn.... goodnight...
3 April 2009
BLESSED BIRTHDAY TO YOU SAM! Today's blog is dedicated to Sam. She's 16 today. Still can't believe it that she's all grown up now.
This morning, woke up at 3.12am to go to the restroom and couldn't sleep after that until 5.50am. By 6am, the alarm rang and it's time to get up. I am excited today coz I get to demo the new Prince EXO3 Red racquet which I "loaned" from Swetka's Tennis Shop. I paid $40 and I can demo it for 1 week max and if I am not happy with it, I can exchange it for another racquet and all these for 4 months.
So, in spite of lack of sleep, I went to take my shower and then head on for breakfast. Ed sent Sam off to school at 7.25am and I spent some time on the computer till 8.30am coz today, I skipped the Friday Ladies Morning Practice Session as I have lessons with Dan at 9.30am. As I was walking out of the house to go to CSF, I didn't feel too good. At first it was nausea but I brushed it off. I told myself I can do this. As I reversed out of the house, the migraine pain I had grew worse and my head was throbbing, broke out in cold sweat, shivered and felt feverish. I also felt a stomach ache. In the end, the body won as I made a u-turn towards home as I began to feel giddy and figured, I better listen to my body b4 I get into an accident as driving in a state of giddiness was madness on my part had I gone on my journey to CSF. Upon reaching home, went straight off to bed and slept for a good 2 hours and woke up a little refreshed but still weak in the stomach but at least the nausea is gone and so is the giddiness, fever, stomach ache and migraine.
Then cooked ABC soup and fried eggs and fetch Sam home from school. She had lots of stories to tell and lots of "Happy Birthday" songs to hear from all her school friends and teachers.
After lunch, she went for her lessons with Ty and Ed met us at the alley coz after bowling training, we will go to Gochi for Sam's birthday celebration. Unfortunately, as it turned out, Gochi was fully booked and the wait was like 30-45 mins and we didn't make resvn so, we decided to go to The Cheesecake Factory instead which is located at Oakridge. The wait was 20 mins and we had a nice dinner together and spent time talking about history and the crusades coz that's what Sam is learning at school now. It was a nice discussion we had and the staff at the restaurant sang the birthday song for Sam too.
All's well that ends well. HAPPY SWEET 16TH SAM..... I love you....
This morning, woke up at 3.12am to go to the restroom and couldn't sleep after that until 5.50am. By 6am, the alarm rang and it's time to get up. I am excited today coz I get to demo the new Prince EXO3 Red racquet which I "loaned" from Swetka's Tennis Shop. I paid $40 and I can demo it for 1 week max and if I am not happy with it, I can exchange it for another racquet and all these for 4 months.
So, in spite of lack of sleep, I went to take my shower and then head on for breakfast. Ed sent Sam off to school at 7.25am and I spent some time on the computer till 8.30am coz today, I skipped the Friday Ladies Morning Practice Session as I have lessons with Dan at 9.30am. As I was walking out of the house to go to CSF, I didn't feel too good. At first it was nausea but I brushed it off. I told myself I can do this. As I reversed out of the house, the migraine pain I had grew worse and my head was throbbing, broke out in cold sweat, shivered and felt feverish. I also felt a stomach ache. In the end, the body won as I made a u-turn towards home as I began to feel giddy and figured, I better listen to my body b4 I get into an accident as driving in a state of giddiness was madness on my part had I gone on my journey to CSF. Upon reaching home, went straight off to bed and slept for a good 2 hours and woke up a little refreshed but still weak in the stomach but at least the nausea is gone and so is the giddiness, fever, stomach ache and migraine.
Then cooked ABC soup and fried eggs and fetch Sam home from school. She had lots of stories to tell and lots of "Happy Birthday" songs to hear from all her school friends and teachers.
After lunch, she went for her lessons with Ty and Ed met us at the alley coz after bowling training, we will go to Gochi for Sam's birthday celebration. Unfortunately, as it turned out, Gochi was fully booked and the wait was like 30-45 mins and we didn't make resvn so, we decided to go to The Cheesecake Factory instead which is located at Oakridge. The wait was 20 mins and we had a nice dinner together and spent time talking about history and the crusades coz that's what Sam is learning at school now. It was a nice discussion we had and the staff at the restaurant sang the birthday song for Sam too.
All's well that ends well. HAPPY SWEET 16TH SAM..... I love you....
Thursday, April 2, 2009
2 April 2009
Hey, Sam will turn 16 tomorrow and I can't believe it that she will be 16. Oh dear, this is scary. It shows that I am also growing old and there'll be more wrinkles and grey hairs, oh no! But again, gotta remind myself that I have to grow old gracefully. After all, beauty is only skin deep.
I played more tennis this morning but Ed was nice not to wake me up this morning to prepare breakfast for them coz I requested from him that I want to sleep in as my body's really exhausted from all the running around I have been doing lately. I woke up at 6.25am and rushed in to wake Sam up for school and then I went back to sleep till 8am. It was good to be able to sneak in that extra snooze and I felt refreshed and recharged. Thanks Ed, thanks Sam for understanding.
After taking my bath, went down to eat my breakfast, check my emails, bring out the food that I need to cook for today and then went out to CSF for my tennis lessons with Larry. I loved this group of people, namely, Cuong/Wilson/Mary/Shawn - they are a funny bunch and full of vitality and a good sense of humor and I always have fun with them. I reached there at 10.20am, in time to just stroke a little for warm up with Wilson/Shawn/Gary and then moved on to court 13 at 10.30am for our lessons. Today we did lob and slice returns. Sadly, yours truly have no feel of the lob returns and it's so hard to do coz I am so used to hitting return of serves as hard as I possibly can. But this is a good strategy to learn and I hope I can master it someday. For now, there's still much hardwork to put in it.
After tennis, I went on to Swetka's Tennis Shop as recommended by Larry to check out their demo racquets. I called them and found that they have a demo on the Prince EXO3 Red racquet and I asked them to put in on hold. This shop is in Mountain View which is a 20 mins drive from CSF. But the funny thing is, the minute I stepped into the shop, it was into apparel hunting rather than go look for the racquet, hahaha. I tried on 6 sets of clothings and none fit me until I found that Holiday Purple Tank and skort that was on sale for $28 and $38 respectively (tenniswarehouse.com is cheaper by $3 each but I have to buy $75 and above to qualify for free shipping and both pieces won't add to $75). Here's how my outfit looks like:
I then bought it and went on to check on my racquet. Their demo racquet policy is $40 for 4 months and I can try as many racquets as I want. But each racquet can only be demo-ed for 1 week max. In the end, if I still cannot find any racquet after 4 months, they will refund me the $40 but if I found one, the $40 will go to the purchase of the new racquet. Not too bad a deal so, I took home with me my new demo Prince EXO3 Red. I look forward to trying it out tomorrow at lesson time with Dan. The reason for my wanting to change? Well, this 03 Speedport Black is a very stable racquet and I love it. Unfortunately, the racquet is starting to feel too head heavy for due to my playing way too much tennis and it's taking a toll on my wrist coz on some days when I hit a lot, I can feel the ache on my wrist as well as on my shoulders. So, I thought, I better take preventive measures b4 I injure myself and have to stay off tennis, which will kill me coz I can't imagine life without tennis. I am such a tennis nut (hey Richard, another new name for me). Well, I hope today will quickly pass by so that I can wake up tomorrow to try my new racquet. Just swinging it by itself without any balls, it feels lighter and I hope it won't compromise on stability coz that's what I look for in a racquet. Well, we shall see tomorrow...Will keep you posted.
I played more tennis this morning but Ed was nice not to wake me up this morning to prepare breakfast for them coz I requested from him that I want to sleep in as my body's really exhausted from all the running around I have been doing lately. I woke up at 6.25am and rushed in to wake Sam up for school and then I went back to sleep till 8am. It was good to be able to sneak in that extra snooze and I felt refreshed and recharged. Thanks Ed, thanks Sam for understanding.
After taking my bath, went down to eat my breakfast, check my emails, bring out the food that I need to cook for today and then went out to CSF for my tennis lessons with Larry. I loved this group of people, namely, Cuong/Wilson/Mary/Shawn - they are a funny bunch and full of vitality and a good sense of humor and I always have fun with them. I reached there at 10.20am, in time to just stroke a little for warm up with Wilson/Shawn/Gary and then moved on to court 13 at 10.30am for our lessons. Today we did lob and slice returns. Sadly, yours truly have no feel of the lob returns and it's so hard to do coz I am so used to hitting return of serves as hard as I possibly can. But this is a good strategy to learn and I hope I can master it someday. For now, there's still much hardwork to put in it.
After tennis, I went on to Swetka's Tennis Shop as recommended by Larry to check out their demo racquets. I called them and found that they have a demo on the Prince EXO3 Red racquet and I asked them to put in on hold. This shop is in Mountain View which is a 20 mins drive from CSF. But the funny thing is, the minute I stepped into the shop, it was into apparel hunting rather than go look for the racquet, hahaha. I tried on 6 sets of clothings and none fit me until I found that Holiday Purple Tank and skort that was on sale for $28 and $38 respectively (tenniswarehouse.com is cheaper by $3 each but I have to buy $75 and above to qualify for free shipping and both pieces won't add to $75). Here's how my outfit looks like:
I then bought it and went on to check on my racquet. Their demo racquet policy is $40 for 4 months and I can try as many racquets as I want. But each racquet can only be demo-ed for 1 week max. In the end, if I still cannot find any racquet after 4 months, they will refund me the $40 but if I found one, the $40 will go to the purchase of the new racquet. Not too bad a deal so, I took home with me my new demo Prince EXO3 Red. I look forward to trying it out tomorrow at lesson time with Dan. The reason for my wanting to change? Well, this 03 Speedport Black is a very stable racquet and I love it. Unfortunately, the racquet is starting to feel too head heavy for due to my playing way too much tennis and it's taking a toll on my wrist coz on some days when I hit a lot, I can feel the ache on my wrist as well as on my shoulders. So, I thought, I better take preventive measures b4 I injure myself and have to stay off tennis, which will kill me coz I can't imagine life without tennis. I am such a tennis nut (hey Richard, another new name for me). Well, I hope today will quickly pass by so that I can wake up tomorrow to try my new racquet. Just swinging it by itself without any balls, it feels lighter and I hope it won't compromise on stability coz that's what I look for in a racquet. Well, we shall see tomorrow...Will keep you posted.
1 April 2009
March is gone and April has arrived. Time really flies when one is having fun. Happy April Fool's Day to start with. I didn't get fooled and did not fool anyone in the process either.
Went to play tennis with Richard from 10.30-11.30am and was "chased" out of the court by Richard promptly at 11.30am coz I told him to do so and indeed, he was very understanding coz I told him I have to leave promptly so that I am not late fetching Sam from school as today, she has pre-bowl at Homestead Lanes coz this Saturday, she's not going there for league play as she has the Norcal State tournament at Dublin to attend at 1pm. So, thanks Richard for chasing me out even though I pleaded with him to give me 5 more minutes of stroking time with him but he won't hear any of my excuses. Good on you Richard for being so diligent in "obeying" my commands, hahaha. You're the best. As a result, I fetched Sam on time and everything went smoothly throughout the day. Yipee!
Went to play tennis with Richard from 10.30-11.30am and was "chased" out of the court by Richard promptly at 11.30am coz I told him to do so and indeed, he was very understanding coz I told him I have to leave promptly so that I am not late fetching Sam from school as today, she has pre-bowl at Homestead Lanes coz this Saturday, she's not going there for league play as she has the Norcal State tournament at Dublin to attend at 1pm. So, thanks Richard for chasing me out even though I pleaded with him to give me 5 more minutes of stroking time with him but he won't hear any of my excuses. Good on you Richard for being so diligent in "obeying" my commands, hahaha. You're the best. As a result, I fetched Sam on time and everything went smoothly throughout the day. Yipee!
31 March 2009
I went to play ball machine with Emily today. It was good hitting as hard as possible on the FHs and BHs without fearing that the ball will fly out, hahaha. After the workout, I went on to stroke with Cuong and CH Shek (my 3.0W team captain) coz not satiated. It feels good to stroke with the guys for a change coz they hit the ball with so much pace and it's great to be able to move around freely. The 2 guys played against me and I had a good workout and actually sweated for a change, hahaha.
Then I came home and checked my email only to find that Larry, our CSF Tennis Director wrote me an email copying the 3 other 3 women who played doubles with me on Monday saying that we must book a tennis court for a doubles booking (1.5 hours court time) rather than make 2 singles booking back-to-back for a 2 hour court time. I heard Sylvia mentioned that we have 2 hour court time when she walked onto court on Monday. I heard her mentioned it twice but stupid me, never dawned on me to ask her why 2 hours and not 1.5 hours. I guess I was just so enthused about playing that I am not bothered to find out why. With Larry's email chiding us, I finally realized what Sylvia meant and I felt so guilty so, I guess, I have more explaining to do with Larry when I see him for lessons on Thurs (4/2). There's just so much to learn about court reservations and the "do's" and "dont's" and I am overwhelmed by it. And yes, had I asked Sylvia on Monday itself and find out that what she did was in violation of court reservation, I would've cleared my name of ignorance with Larry on the same day and not wait till I get a telling off to explain.
Sigh.... so much to learn...
Then I came home and checked my email only to find that Larry, our CSF Tennis Director wrote me an email copying the 3 other 3 women who played doubles with me on Monday saying that we must book a tennis court for a doubles booking (1.5 hours court time) rather than make 2 singles booking back-to-back for a 2 hour court time. I heard Sylvia mentioned that we have 2 hour court time when she walked onto court on Monday. I heard her mentioned it twice but stupid me, never dawned on me to ask her why 2 hours and not 1.5 hours. I guess I was just so enthused about playing that I am not bothered to find out why. With Larry's email chiding us, I finally realized what Sylvia meant and I felt so guilty so, I guess, I have more explaining to do with Larry when I see him for lessons on Thurs (4/2). There's just so much to learn about court reservations and the "do's" and "dont's" and I am overwhelmed by it. And yes, had I asked Sylvia on Monday itself and find out that what she did was in violation of court reservation, I would've cleared my name of ignorance with Larry on the same day and not wait till I get a telling off to explain.
Sigh.... so much to learn...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
30 March 2009
Wow, b4 I can blink, March is slipping away and April has dawned. Time flies doesn't it? Well, gotta seize every moment like the saying Carpe Diem.
Today, there was an earthquake 11 miles away from us at Morgan Hill, 4.3 on the Richter scale. I didn't feel anything coz I was away happily playing tennis at CSF. It happened around 10.40am and thank goodness, there was no damage to our home whatsoever and all our pictures are still hanging on the wall so, that means, no tremors at our housing area. Praise God for that. This is an unnamed fault and though I missed it, reports says that the Bay Area is DUE for a biggie coming soon. When's the question? I better go to Home Depot this weekend and get all my earthquake "goody bag" ready in case we have to face it some day.
Nothing much happened today except I went to tennis practice (what else is new???) with the 3.0 team consisting of Sylvia, Xiao Lu n Elizabeth. Partnered Elizabeth and won 1st set 6-3, lost 2nd 3-6 and then partnered Sylvia and won 6-1. After that, just stroked singles with Xiao Lu.
Then, came home and did housekeeping and didn't finish till 9.20pm. Gotta leave the bathroom washing to tomorrow as today, am zonked out.
Today, there was an earthquake 11 miles away from us at Morgan Hill, 4.3 on the Richter scale. I didn't feel anything coz I was away happily playing tennis at CSF. It happened around 10.40am and thank goodness, there was no damage to our home whatsoever and all our pictures are still hanging on the wall so, that means, no tremors at our housing area. Praise God for that. This is an unnamed fault and though I missed it, reports says that the Bay Area is DUE for a biggie coming soon. When's the question? I better go to Home Depot this weekend and get all my earthquake "goody bag" ready in case we have to face it some day.
Nothing much happened today except I went to tennis practice (what else is new???) with the 3.0 team consisting of Sylvia, Xiao Lu n Elizabeth. Partnered Elizabeth and won 1st set 6-3, lost 2nd 3-6 and then partnered Sylvia and won 6-1. After that, just stroked singles with Xiao Lu.
Then, came home and did housekeeping and didn't finish till 9.20pm. Gotta leave the bathroom washing to tomorrow as today, am zonked out.
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